Isa, Isaac and Simon,
It's sometimes hard to put into words the feelings that describe my beliefs that have transformed my life as a result of being a member of the church. I'll try anyways...
The Gospel of Jesus Christ has been a formula that has worked miracles in my life that I know would not have transpired if I was trying to do life all on my own. Because of my knowledge and belief in Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, I understand with complete confidence that I'm on a beautiful journey to grow and gain what is best for me, step by step. The Gospel is not a vending machine I've learned where I can ask for things and assume the Lord will snap his fingers and make everything or myself perfect. The Lord would cheat us of the fertile ground that could potentially produce a richness and complexity that is divine if He gave us everything we think we need. When I have asked God for things, in wisdom, He has provided the outlet for me to plug into so that I develop, gain qualities, states of mind and wisdom necessary to keep on enduring. He lets me do the work. I'm the one that must clock in and put the effort in. I must show up. Depending on how tall the order I request, aligning with God, He will provide the chore chart to mark my course. I want a lot of things. Good things. Above all, as I have strived to do HIs will, what I want most is a unhindered, indestructible relationship with God. I want a deep peace in my heart that trumps all circumstance so that I can love and grow despite what comes at me. I'm asking for a lot, I know. So He has ordered a set of tests that will push me and challenge me to bring me closer to these true desires of my heart. Each day is a new series of tests. What test he administers are perfect in size. Learning this has helps me to trust in His timing, His chastisement, His selection of trials sent forth in my life that He cannot always quickly save me from. If this proving ground were to stop completely, I would become stagnant. I would fail to continue to understand who He really is...perfect love. He reveals Himself the most amidst my struggles and weaknesses. I consider most my enduring trials as compliment from the Most High because that way I know He is still fully investing in me. Of course I may at times complain but I am understanding slowly that His vision of me extends far beyond the dimensions I have set up for myself. He stands ready to reveal Himself to me within painful circumstance. I know I can lean on Him because I have leaned on him extensively for days and days. I know just how far He allows me to go before I can reach out for His shoulder and place all my weight on Him. This confidence in my Creator is the most precious thing in my life. And that is my testimony. He lives. He loves. He transforms us so we can experience real love, true joy and peace. And that's the stuff worth fighting for :)
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