I noticed today that I try to do things my own way because I sometimes think I am in charge or smart enough to figure everything out on my own. I rely far too heavily on my way of seeing things. I like to pride myself on being able to take care of myself and being able to make good choices. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. However, despite having the best intentions and trying to make good choices to the best of my ability, it is clear I fall short in managing mortality. This life experience I am learning the older I become is serious business! Journeying it successfully is not for the faint hearted. It's like being in the ring with a 300 lb heavy weight champion. You want me to do what?! Lately I have been interested in this idea of enduring my trials well. You know, being in the ring with a blood thirsty boxer, trusting that everything is going to be alright even if I come out toothless. I am well aware that I have different ways to respond to this fight of life. I could lay down and just go to sleep, hoping for an escape. I could spend a lot of time looking at the list of inequalities, injustices, betrayals, shortcomings of myself or others, scary things and beg for a quick fix. I could spend all day trying to figure out where I went wrong or blame others. I could become heartless and succumb to the 'if I can't beat 'em then I might as well join 'em' mentality. Anyways, there are numerous ways I could bend my will to cope with life's demands.
However, the Savior offers a route that is completely different than any of these. His suggestion is quite bold, actually. The Savior said “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). He hands out strength. He offers us this promise without hesitation. He obviously knows something I think we often times forget…that true Joy is only found in Him. So He somehow subsidizes the dangerous mortal experience so that we can live in the here and now, gain experience and still manage to have some joy and peace left over after everything is said and done. He owns the peace and the joy so only He can offer it. And He even helps us purchase it. He lovingly teaches us how to find it and hold on tightly to it. After experiencing some distinct difficulties in my life, I can say joy and peace are something that have at times been stolen from me. However, Christ renews it. He has an unlimited supply. One way specifically He has subsidized the cost of obtaining pure peace and joy despite my challenging situations is that He works on changing my eyes. He helps me to see that even though life is not always ideal, I must continue to strive to see things the way He sees them. Today as I reflected on how unexpected my life has turned out, I noticed how plentiful the opportunities He offers that have nothing to do with where I have been. Despite my circumstances, I always have the privilege of working with Him in being a source of strength to others. He immediately pulled me into His sphere of goodness and love. And from this angle there is so much work to be done. And when I am arm in arm with Him, I feel an abundance of peace that no amount of money, social prestige or role could ever offer. When I am joined with Him, I feel motivated to serve and to dedicate my energy and time to helping others. I cannot find Him in the acquisition of things. I cannot find Him in the worry or fretfulness of the day. I cannot find Him in the perfect order of how I believe my life should go. But I can find Him as I turn my will to Him, obey his commandments, make sacrifices for others, repent, forgive, trust Him, love my enemies, mourn with those that mourn, commit to worthwhile causes, and attempt to endure my trials well. Without Him, I could be engulfed by the experiences of life. He does stand ready to offer hope. He helps my heart to stay open, independent of the mistakes of others around me. I don't want to grow to become apathetic, uncaring, selfish and bitter. I want the light that Christ offers to burn bright even when things may grow dim around me. To be able to find happiness the way that God wants me to find happiness is an immediate blessing.
John 8:2 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." I know this is His sacred promise and He offers this to every person who waits on Him. All I have to do is seek Him first and the pains, inequalities of this world will be swallowed up by Him. I am grateful that I am learning that if I ever feel lost or empty, instead of focusing on myself or the world, I must first focus on Him. His selflessness engenders love, calm and rest. I don't think I can be wrapped up in myself and have the kind of joy that God promises. I know that this learning is not always so easy or simple. I know I will forget to put Him first at times. But it is always my choice to go to Him and ask for His help, to invite Him into my life. As I invite Him in, I am then able to know with complete surety that the changes occurring within me are His handiwork. And I can then further testify of His mission and love. This is how God manifests His power. I want to live with God's power in my life.
Moroni 10:7 Wherefore I would exhort you that ye deny not the power of God; for he worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men, the same today and tomorrow, and forever.
